I’ve always seemed to have a love-hate relationship with makeup. Growing up, my mom didn’t let me wear it until I was about a sophomore in high school, and boy did I go for it when I did. I bought everything that I thought I needed. Foundation that was way too dark, eye shadow that was bright and crazy colored, and eyeliner pencils that I didn’t know how to use. I went in.
At first, I was terrible at it, but by my senior year, I had finally gotten the hang of it all. The only problem, I was figuring out just how expensive it all was. I was spending upwards of $50 a month in high school on makeup. I worked a regular grocery store job and about a fourth of my paycheck went towards powders and creams to make me look beautiful. I felt like I needed to have makeup on to leave the house, and if I didn’t have it on and met someone I knew, I felt gross and ugly. But then I thought, do I really need this?
The answer: I didn’t need it. If anything, the makeup was terrible for me. Foundation always looked cakey on my skin. I broke out constantly all over my face, and putting more makeup over those pimples and blackheads was obviously not the answer. Looking back at pictures, I didn’t feel good about how I looked with so much makeup on. I wanted to feel good about how I looked without it. I wanted to feel beautiful enough that I wouldn’t feel the need to wear makeup like I once had.
The detox started slowly. My confidence was pretty low, and I could deal with substituting BB cream for foundation, but other than that I still did close to a full face. Once my skin had cleared up, I found it easier to leave the BB cream completely and do my eye makeup everyday instead. As a college student, this made my morning routine really quick and easy. Soon after I ditched eyeshadow, and just recently, I’ve been experimenting with no eyeliner, leaving me down to just mascara.
I’m not quite sure if I will end up ditching the mascara as well. Something about having defined and flirty eyelashes just makes me feel feminine. While I do still keep eyeliner and eyeshadow handy for special events, I don’t feel the tugging need that I once did. My skin feels better and is much clearer. Not to mention the time I save getting ready in the morning these days before heading to an 8 a.m.
The confidence and self-esteem I have now is more than I think I have ever had. I almost feel like I’m bragging when I get to tell people that I only wear mascara. I feel beautiful in my own skin and free to be me.